i'm in a D I L E M M A .
i've been thinking alot of things in my head.
i can't really decide which is the best decision for myself...for my own good.
i'm in a situation in which i have to made a choice between options that are equally unfavourable.
i thought i am willing to try this but after, my feelings changed.
i'm feeling half-hearted right now.
i just can't force myself in to it.
i really can't.
it seems to me that the harder i try the harder i fall.
Should i back off ???
Should i just continue for the sake of my parents or for the sake of my future or for the sake of being guilty towards my parents or for the sake of by supporting myself ???
i'm afraid they might be bad-mouth me due to this matter.
They said that this thing could gurantee my future.
To me, i don't think so, i'm strongly disagree.
One remembered me by saying that,
" if u have money but ur life are not happy or no life, for what? No use. "
Haiz..........very stressful.
i felt deeply shit right now...my feelings is in disaster...total disaster.
Somehow, i can see alot of changes on what happens around me after.
Very disappointed though.
it's really hard to face this matter for me.
Still, i just faced this matter as in nothing happens but inside u'll never know.
U look at me and think, 'she's so happy' but there's so much behind this little smile that u will never know.
What goes around comes around.
---------------------------------------------------
" Oh God, please send me ur blessing which i really need a very good guidance from u. "
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